How It Works

First of all, it helps that our CFO is an ex-investment banker and we have a couple of ex-day trader cellar rats. So we thought we’d just use the same types of derivative financial products that got us all into this mess in the first place.

Here's how it works:

You buy bottles of the "2007 Bailout Napa Valley Cabernet" on this website for $39/bottle. Comparable wines go for $75 and up, so you've already won in a sense.
We record the closing value of the Dow Jones Industrial Average the day you buy the bottles.
Then for every 100 points the Dow drops from your starting point, you get $2 off each bottle.

We will bottle the wine on August 14, 2009 and use the Dow closing level to determine your final price. For example, if you buy the wine when the Dow is 8,800 and then it closes at 7,300 when we bottle, then your final price is $9/bottle and we'll cut you an economic stimulus check of $30/bottle in September. If we're lucky enough to find the Dow at or above the level it was when you bought the wine, then you've already paid your $39/bottle – it will never go above that.

(click on bottle for the website)

The wine will be shipped to you after it is bottled in Summer 2009.

Of course we hope that we're looking at a Dow at 14,000; a US auto industry rebuilt into a world leader; and that somebody realized that the credit default swap fiasco didn't happen at all - somebody just messed up a cell reference in Excel. But, if not, then pop open a bottle of luxury Napa Valley Cab and live the good life – if just for a few hours.

You gotta laugh at the genius in this marketing plan, we might all be broke in august but at least we will be drunk!