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Get your Bailout wine, while you still can..

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How It Works First of all, it helps that our CFO is an ex-investment banker and we have a couple of ex-day trader cellar rats. So we thought we’d just use the same types of derivative financial products that got us all into this mess in the first place. Here's how it works: You buy bottles of the "2007 Bailout Napa Valley Cabernet" on this website for $39/bottle. Comparable wines go for $75 and up, so you've already won in a sense. We record the closing value of the Dow Jones Industrial Average the day you buy the bottles. Then for every 100 points the Dow drops from your starting point, you get $2 off each bottle. We will bottle the wine on August 14, 2009 and use the Dow closing level to determine your final price. For example, if you buy the wine when the Dow is 8,800 and then it closes at 7,300 when we bottle, then your final price is $9/bottle and we'll cut you an economic stimulus check of $30/bottle in September. If we're lucky enough to find th...